Saturday, June 30, 2007

Bring me the head of Marco Connolleeey

This is a genuine ballot form for the elections to Seanad Éireann.

Seanad Éireann: full of people you've never heard of

We are particularly taken with the photo chosen by Mark Connolly.

D'Candidate: How much are dem hats?

We believe that he has connections to the Fianna Failure party, so it's quite apt that he's gone for the banana-republic bandito look.

Friday, June 29, 2007

About bloody time...

It's about bleedin time someone did this.

Mika Brzezinski we salute you.

(Brought to you by Skangerland's continuing adventures in youtubeland.)

Give skipping mass a new meaning

Pirates, gold, skipping for Jesus - why was church never this bleedin funny when I was dragged along as a kid?

Of course, we shouldn't laugh at child abuse, but then it's not that that we're laughing at.

Mainly we're laughing at the fuckwit American lady with her country'n'western shirt, Jerry Springer hairstyle, clown make-up and I-had-a-vision drivel-brain anecdote, but most of all it's the skipping for the lord that we're laughing at.

The Deputy will respect my authoritaay


Clown Comhairle

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Clown Comhairle

Just when you thought he couldn't be any more of an eejit...

With apologies to RTÉ (think of it as a smidgeon of payback for the wedge of public money they handed over to the Beverley Hillbilly) and the Kaiser Chiefs. See Twenty's post on this, including the original video, here.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Where's Blogorrah gone to?

It's been ages...and still no sign of Blogorrah getting back in action.

Glenda and Gail are getting worried. They need the exposure, you know? So much so that they got a posse together to go and mount a search.

Glenda Gilson and Gail Kaneswaren are searching for Blogorrah

Monday, June 25, 2007

Guinness going east?

They may be calling it "mere speculation" and telling us that nothing's decided, but the plan to move Guinness's brewing operations away from James's Gate seems like a real possibility.

We here in Skangerland just got sent an online survey to complete. Being a nosey lot, we filled it in. This one had a lot of questions about what you drink, and then about news stories you'd heard. Gradually it focused in on Guinness and we got a lot of questions like "Would you stop drinking Guinness if the production moved away from St James's Gate?" and asking whether you'd be worried about your pint not tasting the same cos the brewery moved.

Seems like they're thinking about it, anyways. The survey was signed off by Outsourced Insight, which would appear to be a South African "Social and Industrial Research" company (with a website here).

The survey was on a server at, and with a bit of faffing about we get a whois for the IP number, which turns up, amongst other things, a mention of Millward Brown Inc., of Austin, Texas, a company that calls itself "the research power behind great brands", and which has worked with Diageo and the Guinness brand in the past. They even have offices on Upper Pembroke Street, Dublin 2.

Only the little people pay...

The Flynnstones are at it again.

Beverley Taxdodge-Flynn has settled her debts with RTÉ by agreeing to pay something in the region of €1,225,000 of the €2,280,000-plus she owes them. (It started at €2,280,000 in September 2005 and interest has been added at about €500 every day, with RTÉ themselves reporting the total amount due as "almost €3m".)

Quite where the money's coming from isn't clear. She has argued that she doesn't have the wherewithal to pay it. No doubt the Revenue will keep a close eye on any Gift Tax liabilities that might arise.

Taxdodge-Flynn has gone on RTÉ radio to insist that "she has nothing to apologise for", and is quoted as saying, "I never believed I did anything wrong".

Arrogant, corrupt, self-righteous: you can see why Bertie reckons she'd sit well in a Fianna Failure government. The Little Green Men must be delighted to see her joining their ranks.

You have to wonder what Pee Flynn knows about where Bertie's bodies are buried.

Stupidity and arrogance seem to run in that family. Remember Pee on the Late Late Show? Remember Audrey Flynn's school bus? Remind yourself here and here. The judge in that case was so struck by Audrey's “complete breathtaking arrogance" that she ordered a psychological report before sentencing (according to The Irish Times).

RTÉ insist that if they had pushed the matter to bankruptcy then the situation for licence payers would have been even worse. Fair point: but as it is, the balance of their legal costs, something around about €1,500,000, will be paid by the licence fee. That's about 9500 licence fees.

So Beverley Taxdodge-Flynn has cost you money by pursuing what could nicely be described as a "litigious frolic" (see here or here), but she won't be apologising and she reckons she's done nothing wrong.

Remember that the next time you're forking out €158 of hard-earned for your next TV Licence.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Gwan Damo, ye mad ting

If you haven't already then you really should read about Damien Mulley, his wandering luggage, the gay dating sites and some dubious customer service.

Start here (and watch out for the rude words), then go here, then here.

Aer Lingus actually come out of it looking quite good, which is saying something.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Accountability? What's that?

The BBC reports that "Dwr Cymru Welsh Water is facing charges of supplying water unfit for human consumption" following cryptosporidium contamination that left about 230 people ill. The Drinking Water Inspectorate is bringing five charges against the company, which will appear before Caernarfon magistrates in July.

Wales: 231 people ill; 70,000 homes boiling their water for two months; five charges.
Galway: 236 people ill; 90,000 homes boiling their water for three months and counting; zero charges.*

When can we expect to see someone held to account for the situation in Galway?

Don't hold your breath: we don't really do accountability in this country.

Next time the Dáil is on TV have a look at the Government benches. They don't use the actual front bench, so what's called the front bench - the Taoiseach, the Ministers - they'll sit one row back. It's a nice image: when you go looking for the front line of responsibility in Irish government - it's empty.

(*See The Irish Times and The Guardian for the Galway numbers.)

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Ohmigod that is so, like, totally, yeah?

Don't forget your passport

(with thanks and apologies to Ross O'Carroll-Kelly and Paul Howard)

Friday, June 15, 2007

Dick "The Cock" Roche takes flight

Just before he was fecked out of office, The Cock Roche granted permission for the "preservation by record" (translation: "take a few pictures before the JCBs arrive") of the Lismullen site on the M3 route near Tara.

The National Monuments (Amendment) Act 2004 allows the Minister to grant permission to anyone:

 (a) to demolish or remove it [a national monument] wholly or in part or to disfigure, deface, alter, or in any manner injure or interfere with it, or

(b) to excavate, dig, plough or otherwise disturb the ground within, around, or in proximity to it, or

(c) to renovate or restore it, or

(d) to sell it or any part of it for exportation or to export it or any part of it, or

(e) to flatten it and put a road or whatever the hell you fancy yourself on top of it.

(from Section 5, amending Section 14 of the Principal Act, the National Monuments Act 1930)

Actually, we made up (e), but (e) is pretty well what it all amounts to. In effect, the National Monuments (Amendment) Act 2004 renders meaningless the concept of a national monument. All the Minister need do is consult (translation: ask and then ignore if you want to) the Director of the National Museum, sign the consent, and then head off in a huff to his new demotion, I mean job.

Dick "The Cock" Roche is good at that sort of shite. The cute hoor coup de grâce being that the order was signed last Tuesday but never mentioned until yesterday. That is, they kept it hush-hush until Bertie was back as Taoiseach.

Newgrange: standing in the way of progress
Roche is hoping his plan for Newgrange takes off

So this leaves John Gormless, arriving in as Environment Minister, with a problem. The Greens say he wants to reverse the decision but the lawyers aren't sure that he can. How awkward, or is it?

Here's another way of looking at it: in negotiations the Greens agree to the order being signed but only as long as Roche signs it before leaving office. That way they get to wash their hands of it. They can pretend they want to change it, then say the law doesn't allow them to change it and it's all Fianna Failure's fault.

The helipad will include solar panels to keep the Greens happy

So the Greens get to go into government without having to take too much blame for the M3 vandalism, while Bertie gets his road and he gets the bonus fun of blaming Roche for it all, which is no loss because nobody likes Roche much anyway. What does Roche get? A Junior Minister job instead of the backbenches.

Not so awkward.