Saturday, November 25, 2006

Norn Iron terrorists admit they're being outclassed

A representative of the Norn Iron Terrorists' Association today admitted that members had found Michael Stone's efforts to disrupt proceedings at Stormont "embarrassing" and "a bit crap".

"We've just not got the facilities to compete," the spokesperson said. "Other organizations have Russian billionaires who'll back them, or rich Middle Easterns and that there, but we just can't match their spending."

The killing of Alexander Litvinenko with polonium 210 just showed up the gulf in class between Norn Iron terrorists and their competitors.


West Belfast: not famed for its sushi barsBelfast fish comes cooked in loads of batter and with greasy chips


"Radioactive isotopes? How do we compete with that?" a 'Rashinner commented. "Even at our best, when we were working with mercury tilt switches and we thought we were the dog's bollox, we weren't a patch on what them there are. We can't afford to get the personnel."


Catapults: fine for pelting Landrovers but it's not quite 9/11, is it? For when your arm gets tired flinging petrol bombs


Mossad, the CIA, MI5 and MI6, the NSA, SVR and the like have access to state-of-the-art training facilities, and have extensive scouting networks (ones which might well be swinging by obscure blogs that mention Mossad, the CIA, MI5 and MI6, the NSA, SVR and the like, just for a look-see...).


At least the sad, attention-seeking murderer has a less stupid haircut these daysI'll huff and I'll puff: Stone was knackered before he even got in the door


"We're just out of practice, is all, so it is" the Norn Iron Terrorists' Association said. "The Stone boy's just not match fit, you know? In his prime he's not going to be turning up with a handgun and some bombs he made with Meccano and a few left-over fireworks from the November Fifth Burn-a-Catholic-in-Effigy Cross-Cultural Festival."

"We're still good at arguing, mind," the 'Rashinner insisted. "We whinged so much about the Police that they weren't even allowed to be there until after the gunman turned up with his bombs and we'd all run away."

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