Monday, November 20, 2006

For jaysus's sake

A British Airways employee has lost his battle to dress as Jesus at Stansted Airport. BA had put Christopher Nutter on unpaid leave since his decision to recreate the passion at the BA check-in desks.

"Some passengers found the wailing a bit off-putting," a BA spokesperson was reported as saying, "And the cleaners got a bit sick of wiping blood off the floor every time he did some scourging at the pillar, over by Tie Rack."

Mr Nutter is often accompanied by his friend Simon.

Mr Nutter said, "I'm a bit disappointed but I'm hoping we can appeal. The crucifixion is important to me and the truth will shine forth.

"It is important for me to carry the cross, wear the crown of thorns, and be scourged until I bleed so that people can see that Jesus loves them."

Roman queues were always in straight lines
A colleague of Mr Nutter helps keep queues in order.

Passenger opinion was divided. "I asked him for a luggage label and it took him ages," one remarked. "He couldn't move much, what with the big cross and the fainting spells, and then the label was all covered in blood."

Another passenger who complained about delays said, "He just told me that waiting in the terminal for two hours was nothing compared to an eternity burning in the sulphurous fires of Hell. I still missed my connection."

"I don't mind at all," another passenger remarked, "But I just wish they'd wait until December before putting the decorations out. It gets earlier every year."

"We do have a uniform policy," the BA spokesperson added.

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